Sunday, 20 July 2014

How To Feel Good About Yourself When Others Put You Down

It isn't always easy to keep our chin up. Pressure from society, other people and even ourselves can make us question our confidence and can make us feel inferior.

So what is it that causes us to feel 'less than'? What is it that causes us to feel as though we are not as good as others? There may be various reasons, and while each person will have their own feelings of insecurities, we are constantly looking for validation from society. It's a natural response to want to be accepted by others and this desire to be a part of society can make us agonise over comparisons and feel shame when we 'do not come up to par'.

So, keeping this in mind, how do we continue to feel good about ourselves and be secure in who we are?
  1. Set your own standardsInstead of striving to meet invisible targets that you feel are there- make them tangible to you. Say you and your friend are each writing a book and you find out that your friend has nearly finished. Instantly you feel ashamed- you are only half way and it won't be nearly as good as theirs! Instead of going down this line of thought, set your own target of writing to the highest standard that you can and that by the end of each week to have a chapter complete.
  2. Try to identify why you feel inferiorMore often than not you may be the one creating an issue when there isn't even an one there. If you can, try to identify why you feel that way. Say that you feel insecure about your dancing at a party compared to a friend. Is it your friend that is making you feel anxious or is it your own perception of your dancing? Do you feel conscious of your dancing because you're conscious of your body or do you feel awkward being at the party itself? How can you change that?
  3. If someone is trying to make you feel inferior, try to understand whyDo they themselves feel inferior and are trying to drag you down with them? Have they had a fall out with someone and feel the need to take it out on someone? Or are they a toxic person who just wants to cause harm? If the criticism isn't constructive, imagine a wall (or a shield) protecting you from that person and their words. The words that the person is saying belong to them, it is there anger- you only allow those things to become yours if you take them in and accept them.
It isn't always easy to stop yourself from succumbing to these pressures but to allow yourself to be swept away by your insecurities is damaging to both how you see yourself and how you see others. Try to remember your strengths rather than just your weaknesses because although you may have issues with some areas, you will be amazing in others.

How do you deal with anxieties and feeling of inferiority? Let me know!