Unfortunately, life doesn't come with a warranty- we can't hand it over and ask for an exchange when it goes wrong- but we can come up with ways of managing the problem and working towards a solution using a certain set of steps. So, following on from that, here is a method for tackling whatever challenge comes your way:
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- Write the situation itself down in a factual concise way.
Let me guess, "Wait, what? How is that going to solve anything?" If you write down the problem as unemotionally as possible you can see it at face value and look at it more objectively without the chaos of emotions and other people influencing you. Here's an example: you are concerned that you won't have enough money to pay the rent and you're worried that the landlord won't be understanding. You are making yourself sick with worry and other things that wouldn't faze you before are building up on top of the problem. I recommend that you list it like this:
-May not have enough money for rent
-Don't know how to deal with landlord if I can't pay
You would then tackle each point separately. Firstly, deal with ways to find money for the rent (budgeting, cutting down on areas, asking for help) and then how you would deal with the landlord (speaking to them, trying to come to some sort of compromise).
If you are unsure of what to do as a next step, break it down into separate questions. Say that you are unsure if you want to move in with a partner, break it down into more manageable chunks.
Eg. Am I ready to move out of my parent's house/ where I am now? (Yes/No)Am I ready in this relationship to take this step? (Yes/No)
Am I alright with the thought of living with this person? (Yes/No)This should help to put your thoughts into more manageable chunks so that you can properly process them.
- Come up with a planThis one is the biggie. When faced with a curveball, take the time to plan your next step. Use the two steps mentioned above and then come up with, whether you write them down or keep them in your mind, a clear path to a solution. The best way to handle a situation is to use the following route.
Identify the problem- Whether that is being told the situation, realising that something is wrong or knowing that you have to do something about it.
Accept the problem- Accept that action needs to be taken and that a plan of action needs to be made.
Come up with a solution- This doesn't have to be an immediate fix but it does have to have a realistic set of actions that can be taken.
Act out the plan- This may take a long time but by acting it out you are on the right path to sorting things out.
Reach the solution and resolve the problem- Enough said.
Learn where you can- Take in the lessons that you've learnt along the way, they've made you a better person.
- And, most importantly, don't forget that it's OK to ask for help.None of us are invincible, we all need some help every now and then and that's OK, just remember to make sure to let the person know that you're thankful and that you're there when they will inevitably need help.